Thursday 4 December 2014

The 9 Worst SEO Tips For 2015 - Best SEO tricks in 2015

It’s that time of year again. I’m looking at the quotes telling me how the “universe” is going to help me fulfil my business ambitions – if only I believe. I’ve seen the photos of Richard Branson smiling and saying “it’s really not about money”.

Unfortunately the universe will not make you money from the Internet. A positive mental attitude will not make you money from the Internet – and neither will Richard Branson.

So you find yourself looking at the blog you last updated in June 2013 and think this year is going to be different than all the other years when you really could not be arsed with it all.

There’s just one problem, your website is not on page one when you search. Heck it’s not even close, even though you have been trying to get it there for months. You look on at your competitors and think, they don’t deserve to be there. Why the fuck is Google giving them a high rank and not me?

The reality is Google doesn’t always play fair and it won’t in 2015, so what do you do? You could always look at these 9 ways to cheat.





1.       Stuff your website with keywords  

Stuff your web pages with keywords. Mention that keyword in every sentence to make your content look as natural as a penguin riding a camel in a desert (more on penguin and stuffing later). It’s not about your website visitor it’s about you and getting your website to the top with a load of indecipherable babble.  Fake interviews, made up case studies or testimonials from your imaginary friends – Knock yourself out and just make it all up. Your visitors won’t understand what you’re going on about but what do you care?


2.       Build thousands of unnatural looking links

Everyone knows how important link building is. This is why you should get hold of as many links as you can. Better still, use one of the many automated services out there that will get hold of thousands for you cheaply. That way you won’t need to spend time writing useful content and getting authority sites to pass on useful link juice. Link juice to you is like carrot juice – not worth the time or effort.

You would rather upset Google’s penguin, which is not some cuddly creature you imagined from that kids movie Happy Feet. Oh no, this penguin is your worst nightmare because it gets your website penalised for unnatural looking links.  


3.       Write useless blogs just for the SEO benefit

Keep posting content on your blog because someone you know told you to. It doesn’t matter if it’s any good, just post the crap anyway because content is king. Even if nobody is reading it, the search engines will. If you can’t be bothered to write it yourself, get someone on Elance or Odesk to do it for you for a dollar an hour in their second language. They will love you for it because they would rather spend time writing crap for you than cleaning it from toilets in their second job (which actually pays them better).


4.       Steal content from other websites  

The easy way to get content on your website is to steal it. The BBC, Telegraph, Sky News to name but a few will have plenty of news you can copy and paste onto your blog. At the end of the day news is news so what’s the point in giving your own perspective on things when somebody has already spent hours of their time researching it for you?


5.       Add duplicate titles to all your pages

You want to rank for ‘Hairdressers Burnley’ so you give every page of your website this one title. Surely one of them will be on page one this year.


6.       Write press releases and keyword stuff them

Press release distribution services are great for backlinks. You can write a press release about nothing in particular and stuff it with keywords that point directly back to your website. This content might even get syndicated amongst a whole bunch of other low grade websites diluting your own authority even further and making your website look spammy.


7.       Be fixated on keywords

Google  has taken away the ability to see the keywords people are using to find your website, so it’s back to guessing what keywords your visitors are using and not knowing what the fuck is happening. Build your website content strategy around those guesses. There are also plenty of free apps out there to help you with your keyword quest.  You can use them to keep tracking your keyword rankings day and night rather than looking at the traffic these keywords are actually bringing in.


8.       Be even more fixated on keyword phrases

We love ‘web design Wrexham’. It is because we love ‘marketing Wrexham’ that we can provide you such a great service from our ‘Internet marketing Wrexham’ offices. It is here you will find our disillusioned undergraduates on work experience churning out this keyword phrased rubbish for our shop window.  


9.       Believe everything your website designer says because he or she is ‘a techie’  

They put your website together. They even built you a fully-fledged ecommerce store with all the trimmings including payment gateways and sold you an add-on package to “evolve” your business. The one thing they forgot to do for you was figure out how to get your website on Google.

You spend months waiting while they tell you the setup is the best around and your website will float to the top all by itself.

When you lose patience after 12 months and hire an SEO consultant they go out of their way to be hostile. Your website is their baby not yours, the SEO is just some bad guy trying to steal it.

Whatever you decide to do with your website this year, good luck with it but please don’t try to cheat. It will only end in tears this time next year.

If you have any tips to add to this list I would be interested to hear them. Please leave your comments below if you like.


*content taken from: www.seoprofessor.co.uk for more detail original content visit:  http://www.seoprofessor.co.uk/the-9-worst-seo-tips-for-2014/

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